A surprising bit of news.

Europe's oldest hippo has been put on the pill to curb her sexual appetite and safeguard her health.

Zoo keepers were stunned to see 53-year-old Bullette energetically mate with her long-term partner Ede last week.

But vets warned that after having 20 calves, frisky Bullette is too old to give birth again, adding they were amazed she had shown any interest in sex.

Berlin Zoo spokesperson Ragnar Kuehne said vets were now giving the three-ton hippopotamus a specially prepared contraceptive pill the size of a bread roll every Friday.

My thoughts:

So thankful that someone has this serious problem all under control but, what about poor Ede?

Age will happen to all of us.

My aunt was telling us about her friend, Doris, and how her parents are getting older. Her father called her the other morning, very angry at her mom. He insisted that she had picked up his glasses, put them somewhere and now could not remember where. Doris said she would get dressed and hurry over.

Her father met her at the door and for the first time, she saw him very angry at her mother. As they searched the house, he kept insisting that her mother had put them somewhere. After looking in the garage and some of the out building and still no glasses, Doris commented that they may just have to get him another pair. Her mother mentioned again to them that she too may need new glasses as her vision had gotten worse recently and her glasses weren't helping.

Doris then looked at her mother and asked for how long. Her mother told them since last night. Doris looked at her dad and asked how long his glasses had been missing. He said since last night. Doris looked at her mom and said, "Mom, you've got dad's glasses on."

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Doris was unable to go to the doctor with her parents for her mom's appointment, as she had to work in the field. She asked them to stop by on their way home and let her know what the doctor had said. As they pulled up along side the field, she shut off the tractor, got off and went over to her mom's side of the car. After saying hello, she asked her mom what the doctor said.

She said, "I don't know, you know that I don't understand all that medical talk."

Doris then asked her dad if he knew.

He said, "I don't know, you know that I can't hear much of anything."

Later on her husband told her that he felt from now on she had better make sure she goes to all future appointments.

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The real meal deal

Yesterday, I attended Ladies Day at Lincoln Christian College with my mom and two aunts. They had a pretty good sack lunch, but the real meat came from two of the speakers. Liz Curtis Higgs - Unveiling Mary Magdalene and Rebecca Manley Pippert - Sharing the Story - By Way of the Cross. Wow. Talk about getting more than you paid for. This day isn't about 2000+ women getting together and learning crafts, or sitting around talking about others. It is a day filled with being served with the main course - His Word. If ever you are able to hear either of these women - GO.

I was "chewing" on the things I learned yesterday and I realized there is so much to do for Him and so little time. Rebecca started Salt Shaker Ministries. She also starts Bible Studies for the unchurched. Now isn't that a concept? To actually ask someone who isn't into church, or God and ask them if they want to study the Bible and learn about Jesus. She has never had anyone say no. God has been putting ideas and people into my thoughts........

ME

and the scale. 

Outa the Comfort Zone

Last evening I had a date with my husband. It involved food. And it involved persons I do not know. Because of the food, I committed myself to go. Not to be with my husband mind you, but the food. It was an Italian night at his golfing buddies home. Tim had prepared 28 different Italian recipes and invited people over to eat, visit, drink, just hang out. He does this at different times because he loves to cook, share, and enjoys people.

I on the other hand love all these things too, except the people. I am one who loves to stay home. The hardest thing for me to do is to walk into a place filled with people. Only my closest friends know this and also know that I really am shy. I often pray that God will use me as His vessel and there He puts me - with people. Growing up I was not the most popular kid in the class, unless you are looking at the kid made the most fun of. I was very shy, introverted, and usually only had one, maybe two, friends at a time.

Throughout the years, I have forced myself to be involved with people. To put myself outside my comfort zone and do His work. It is only with God that I have been able to overcome so much and most persons don't see how hard all this is for me. I also like to walk in behind Curt, I hate to be first in a room. I know that I just recently spoke at a workshop. I read that the reason that works is because it puts me in control. So back to last night.

We arrive and I am feeling very fat and ugly in my "tent shirt". The kind you wear to try and hide the excess. For some reason before I knew what was going on, Curt had me walk in the door first. Upon entering, we are right there where everyone is. And I look around and realize I know absolutely no one. I spied the food pretty fast too. Standing there feeling quite awkward and wanting nothing more than to not be there, I suddenly hear a voice from the corner, "It's the Holtschlag's".

There she was. A friend I had made when our sons were in soccer together while in grade school. We have never done anything together. But for some reason we just click. When we see each other, we pick up where we left off. And she is always glad to see me.

I am thankful that a long time ago I got out of my comfort zone and attended my sons' soccer games. I am thankful that this woman has always enjoyed seeing me. You see, last night after going over to say hi to her, she walked me over to the food table. Everything was something different and fantastic. She told me how she glanced over and saw this very pretty woman enter the room and realized it was me. She told me how good I look.

Yes, I am so thankful that I got out of my comfort zone, not just for the food, not just for being with Curt, but for God letting someone tell me what I really look like to others and to Him.

Actually, it is very sad how differently we see ourselves.

Ps 139:14 I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

One thing that I love

My son, Nichalas, who is going to be 17 on May 3 is upstairs rearranging his furniture. He is playing his stereo full blast. That's okay with me. He has on a Tom Jones ALBUM. I like listening "Fly me to the Moon" that loud.

I wonder how many mom's yell at their kids to turn down their music and they're listening to Tom Jones, Johnny Cash, John Denver, Sticks, Earth Wind & Fire, Neil Diamond, etc.

What a neat kid. Good taste too.

Diet results - one month

Yesterday, I was weedeating. It was towards the end of the day. My clothes are covered with grass, my hair is all fuzzy from the humidity, my face is splattered with mud and grass - yes, I am looking quite good.

A man who was unloading a semi, came walking by smiled, waved and said something. I stopped and said I couldn't hear him. He said, "You look like one hard working woman."

Then he did the Hulk flex.

I thought to myself, " Never had that happen before. Yes sir, I must be looking pretty toned. What a weirdo".

That morning I had discovered that I have lost only 3lbs in one month.

At this rate Loretta, my missing person will never leave me.

The Mid-opaus hour

Ugggh - again I have been up for most of the night. Not my body, until 4:00 am, but my mind. I hate laying there in bed, exhausted, yet my mind will not shut off.

I am praying, thinking about the Lord, praying for a young girl who I just met that God has on my heart right now, why can't I get her off my heart, going through my day tomorrow, thinking I gotta get some sleep, thinking about chocolate, resisting the urge to go down and eat some chocolate chips (only because we are out of milk), thinking about how much weight I still have to lose, what am I going to wear with my jeans (again) for church, what are the dogs barking at, my flowers that I have planted, when will they start to grow, when will the rest of them get here, if anyone has commented on my blog, bills to pay, man the boys have grown up fast, Nichalas turns 17 May 3rd, Adam sure was in a talking mood tonight, I am thankful he was asking me for advice about a work situation, how far he and I have come, thankful that the Lord is in their lives, how long will it take me to do maintanace on my equipment tomorrow, is it going to rain before Friday, will I have to mow Saturday, I really wanted to go fishing this weekend, only if the wind is out of the east or is it the west, fishing is best or least from the west or the east, can not wake Curt up to ask him, man he snores loud, how can he just lay there and sleep making all that noise, and he says he doesn't snore, I should tape him sometime, thinking about chocolate again, now I have to pee, afraid if I do my body will get in the habit and then every night at this time I'll have to wake up to go, hell, I am not asleep anyway, does this never end, I would love to get a whole nights sleep, at least I don't have it where I wake up drenched in sweat, maybe I can wash the sheets tomorrow, I love to sleep on line dry sheets, right, what a joke, sleep...........

So here I am again in the wee midnight hours, thinking I'll try laying down, knowing that I will be getting my best sleep around 6:00am. Just in time to get up.

I am so very amazing!

For the past week and a half, my mower has been cutting funny. Uneven, scalps when I turn, nice stuff you know. After checking the tire pressure, if my blades were on tight, etc. I thought perhaps the deck was unlevel, so I took the time, energy to raise it in the area that it seemed to be dragging. Upon completing this task, I was so very proud of myself, as the deck is heavy and I had to let it off the chain, lift it back up and attach the chain.

I am so very amazing.

It still cut funny. By now I wasn't so very impressed with my super abilities and resorted to the acknowledgement that what I had done, had not fixed the problem.

I swallowed my pride and went before my husband, Curt, asking him to please check it out.

He did.

Rather baffled by the change in the deck chain, he observed (and commented) very quickly that my adjustment wouldn't improve the cut. So much for my amazing talents.

He got down on the ground to check under the deck. I am standing there waiting. He looks up at me. I look at him. He shakes his head. I ask what. He looks under the deck again. I ask what. He looks at me, shakes his head. "You have your blade on upside down."

You know, Curt is so very amazing. He can fix just about anything. Thank the Lord I didn't have to take my mower to a repair person. Curt saves me a lot of money.

Curt is so very amazing!

You'll laugh and you'll cry

What a wonderful Christian blog site memoirsbyval.blogspot.com

One of her entries:

Friday, April 08, 2005
Electric Shock
Last night my aunt and I had a hilarious visit talking about many funny family stories. My aunt is a delightful, funny, intelligent woman who is nearly completely computer illiterate. It's a really sad day when I'm the one giving computer advise. However that's the position I'm in often with my aunt. I told her repeatedly over several weeks how to perform a relatively simple function on the computer. To no avail. She kept doing it her way, unsuccessfully. Finally I began to express my frustration that she wasn't listening to me. She said, "I can't help it. I was shocked real bad when I was 8 years old and I've been slow ever since."

Her comment about being shocked instantly reminded me of a family story involving an electric wire. When I was growing up on the farm, we had a number of electric fences. I do no know why; perhaps they were cheaper than fencing and cross fencing. For whatever reason, we had several. Often these fences would quit working and require my dad's attention.

The "electric fence box" was on the carport wall. Daddy cautiously gave Mama instructions. "Stand here and when I tell you to, turn it on. Don't turn it on until I tell you to." Mama stood there with her hands perched on her hips as if she was thinking of all the other things she could be doing.

Daddy walked along the path of the wire studying each section. Finally he bent down and studied the wire more closely. He hollered at my mom, "Don't turn it on" and then picked up the wire. My mother, who had a legitimate hearing problem, thought my dad said "turn it on" so she reached up and flipped the switch.

My dad's hands were firmly holding the wire. Unable to let go of the wire because of the shock factor, he was left holding the hot wire and yelling at my mom something nearly indiscernible. "Biiiiiii, Hu-biiiiiiiiiiiii, Hu-biiiiiiiiiiiiii." He looked rather silly out there holding the wire yelling, "Biiiiiii". My mother lost her mind with laughter and bent double laughing. She couldn't hardly stand up to turn the box switch off, but just as she flipped the switch, what Daddy was saying became clear. "Biiiiiitch, Biiiiiitch," he was yelling. Mama went double again with laughter as Daddy came across the pasture yelling at her incompetence.

My parents gave me a very good gift when they gave me a love for humor. That particular day my dad wasn't giving any laugh lessons, but there were certainly plenty days when he did. Daddy's humor was very different than my mom's. Mama went double laughing often, just like I do now. My kids imitate me just like I use to imitate my mom. She often lost her breath laughing and couldn't talk to save her life when she got going in a belly laugh. I am "blessed" with the same penchant.

Daddy's humor was a lot dryer and certainly more controlled. But a good sense of humor he had and still has.

Aside from my mom instilling Christian ideals, humor is the greatest gift they gave me.

Waiting Game

In some areas of my living - patience is not a problem. And then....

I am having such a hard time waiting for all the flowers to arrive which I have had on order for two months now! Most of my gardens are ready and waiting. I love to work outside and create places of beauty. Places to go and just sit, looking out over the fields, the woods, listening to a fountain, lying in the hammock.

What a joke - I usually am too busy creating more restful oasis that I don't take the time to enjoy the ones I have. That's okay though, I would rather be working than lying around.

But there are times when I do, and God rewards me so much in this silent time. I try to make it a practice to just say to God, "I love you" over and over for at least 2-3 minutes. Nothing more, no praise, no thanks, no asking. Just, "I love you". It's rather hard. Just like my physical self wanting to be busy - my mind is the same. Many times I have to "steer my brain" to the "I love you" section and get off the "other thoughts" aisle. Try it sometime - it isn't as easy as it sounds.

I find my relationship with God is like my gardens. It is good to be creating, working, admiring His miracles, feeling the dirt in my hands, the smells of the earth. Being so very hot and feeling the cool breeze on your face. I always say it is God sending me a kiss. And just as important too, is the sitting and enjoying Him. The silence, the whispers of His voice, feeling His arms as they wrap around you sharing the delightfulness of being close, the total peace that only comes from sitting in His lap. Scriptures running through my mind, my heart swelling up and my eyes start to tear as I realize what love He has for me. It is so important to stop and enjoy the beauty of being in His garden.

This weekend is going to be a time for growing and planting. I have been asked to speak on evangelism at a Women's Retreat. The request came some months ago and as of today, I haven't written much down. My prayer has been that God will use me as a vessel for His words, and I find that if I rehearse or write things down, they become more my words. From a very young age I have desired to share Him with others in this way but I find that His timing is rather curious, to say the least, as I have been in a valley for over a year. My marriage was almost over, my trying out different anti-depressants have made me "bloom". One med caused me to gain 26#'s in three weeks. I was having to deal with past issues that were buried and causing me to react in a negative manner. Thankfully, through prayer, counseling, etc. I am finally coming out of this valley.

The thing of it is though, God's timing is so unlike mine. Here I was, going into church, if I went at all, after the greeting time and leaving as soon as the last song, so as not to see or talk to anyone. Keeping myself isolated because that is what felt best. That is when I received the call to talk for this weekend. I had to laugh up at our Lord and tell Him he has quite a sense of humor. And I think about His patience. During my walks in valleys, when I insist on lying around, growing my way and not His.

I am not nervous about this weekend - I know I wouldn't be doing this if He didn't want me to. I am prepared - His words are there. But, I find when I slip up and think about me, what will I say, what will I wear, will anyone come, will they be bored, then I start to get nervous. I realize that I have taken my eyes off of Him and focused on me. So I am asking, please keep me in your prayers that I will be the vessel He needs to touch others for this weekend.

As to what to wear, since nothing fits, and I refuse to go buy something since I am going to lose this weight and I have clothes (albeit too small), I have decided that the jeans are going to have to do. After all, that is what I wear to church and if it's good enough for God, it's good enough for the ladies.

My mom will have a heart attack!

Content - I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:12 

she reminds me a a young Sarah Runyon 

copied blog

While looking through blogs, I found this guys site - he's got some pretty funny and interesting blogs. waiterrant.blogspot.com

Monday, April 04, 2005
Hippie Faux Pas

I’m in the kitchen munching on some fried polenta chips when the hostess interrupts me.

“You’ve got a new table on ten.”

I look at the clock. It’s almost closing.

“Does anyone else want this table?” I ask. It’s a stupid question. The other waiters mentally vacated the place hours ago.

“Hell no,” Louis says eating his dinner.

“Come on Arlene. Remember when I let you leave early last week?” I plead.

“So sorry,” Arlene laughs.

“Shit.”

I walk out to the table. It’s a family of four.

The father’s a no nonsense military looking kind of guy. Seated across from him in the usual soccer mom getup is his wife. Next to her, facing me, a mass of black curls and inexpertly applied makeup, is her teenage daughter. She smiles at me toothily.

The other daughter sits facing away from me - face obscured by a hanging mane of heavy black hair. Her bejeweled fingers tap impatiently on the table top. Probably embarrassed to be seen eating out with her parents.

“Can I get anyone something to drink?” I ask cheerfully.

The man and his wife order some red wine.

“I’ll have a coke,” the first daughter says looking up and down. Yeah, she digs me.

“And what will you have miss?” I ask the other daughter.

The daughter looks up at me from under her hair. Suddenly and I notice “she” has a beard.

“I’m not a girl,” the newly revealed young man sniffs defensively.

Thank God, I think to myself, you’d be one UGLY girl.

“I’m very sorry sir. I need to get a new pair of glasses,” I say trying to cover my surprise.

“He said you were a girllll!” the sister taunts.

“Shut up idiot,” the brother shoots back.

“Enough” the father cuts in, “Tell the man what you want to drink.”

“I’ll have a Coke,” the young man mutters sullenly.

Tip in the toilet I go and fetch their drinks.

They order quickly and are soon tucking into their entrées. While they’re eating the son gets up to go to the bathroom. As he approaches me I can feel the hatred coming off of him like heat off a radiator.

“I’m not a girl,” he hisses looking me in the eye.

“No kidding,” I deadpan.

He’s stops in his tracks and starts to say something.

“Can I help you sir?” I say skewering him with my thousand yard waiter stare. I’m twice his age and outweigh him by fifty pounds.

Saying nothing he shuffles past me. I can’t help but notice he’s headed for the wrong bathroom.

“Sir, that’s the ladies room.”

“I knew that,” he says rapidly changing course.

“Just checking,” I chuckle.

The family finishes their meal. They take a pass on dessert. Dad asks for the check.

“Sorry for the mix up,” I say handing him the bill.

Saying nothing he hands me a credit card. Oh boy.

Check paid the family gets up and heads for the door. I warily look inside the checkbook.

Dad left me a $100 tip.

I run up to the front to thank the man for his generosity.

“That waiter’s a jerk,” I overhear the son saying as he heads out the door.

“It was an honest mistake. Get a haircut!” the father calls out after him.

Catching up to the father I extend my hand.

“Thank you sir!” I say.

With a firm grip he replies,

“No. Thank YOU.”

“Not a problem,” I grin.

“Goddamn hippie,” the father mutters walking out onto the street.

I stand in the doorway a hundred dollars richer.

That was the most profitable faux pas I ever committed.

The most amazing thing

Today I was mowing at American Freight and happened to glance over at the bottom of 24th street. There at the stop sign was a FedX truck. I thought with relief that maybe my meds were finally delivered to my house since we live not far from there. (I have been out of them since Fri. - which is not a good thing - and the company sent them to my hospital in Columbia instead of here.) As I am tooling around, continuing to mow, a woman suddenly appears by the curb. She is the FedX delivery person and in her hands is a package. She asked if I lived at (my address). When I replied yes, she said that she had just been there and didn't have anyone to sign for the package so couldn't leave it. As she was sitting there at the stop sign, she looked over and saw my name on my truck.

Isn't God neat!

Love's a funny thing

Cooper 

My cousin, Derick, just had a baby boy, whom they named Cooper. I am dying to send them a congrats note with a picture of Nichalas' dog (whose name is also Cooper) saying, "I hope your Cooper is better looking than ours!". I would in a heartbeat, except I don't know how his wife, Lisa, would take it. They had chosen the name Jackson, until there were two other babes born in the ward that day, given that name. Wanting to be different they went with Cooper. I would hate that they'd have to go through all the legal stuff to change it now. Besides, I imagine every time Lisa would look at her Cooper, she'd see ours. Not a very pretty pic.

Anyway, I was thinking about how much you can love your child. From the very first moment. No strings, unconditional, pure love. I remember becoming preg with Nichalas and being upset that I couldn't love another child as much as our first, Adam. It was no prob. Amazing how our hearts can do this. And then I thought about how much I love Curt. This year marks our 23rd year. What a lot of ups and downs. Thankfully, we are more ups than downs now days. How amazing it is that you can be with someone that many days and still desire their company, drink in their ways with my eyes. How I love to watch him with the boys, the animals. I just love to watch him. He delights my soul. Okay, maybe not 100% of the time, but pretty close.

I haven't many close friends. Mainly because I am lazy and connect well with the ones that you pick up where you left off at. The ones I do have - God hand chose them. They hold me accountable, they love me as I am, they love my family as their own. Most of all, they love the Lord above all. Interesting that as I have aged God has given me those closest in my heart ones that are after His heart.

So here in my body sits this muscle the size of my fist. Not all that big, but look at all it contains. So many levels, such intensity. I look at all the things that are in it and realize that even more than ANYTHING, I love Him so much more. Kinda like the vessel of neverending oil. There isn't any limit. It pains my heart knowing the times that I have hurt His, yet He loved me anyway. The time I have wasted, He used His way. The people He put into it, I grew from. How can anyone make it without Him in their hearts.

That leads me to what has been bothering me since the Pope died. I read the headlines - We are lost, We are Orphans, We are alone. Yes, he was a godly man, who did great things, but he was still just a man. (lighting didn't strike me) All these millions of people going to see his body, that were praying for him before and after his death. How many have the same level of love for God? For Christ? To me it is a lack of faith to put all that into someone you can see and not into the Lord. Then I hear how the people want the next pope to be more lenient. The verse of "tickling the ears" comes to mind. I am thankful that he stood firm and didn't abide by the popular vote. That his love for God was so much bigger than that. I pray that all the millions of people who feel orphaned will realize that through Christ they never will be. That through their pain they will develop an intimate relationship with Him.

So I look at this little four letter word - L O V E. What a very, very big word it is.

Her Double D's

I have a question for fellow females (male also if you feel compelled to answer). Is it me or do you ever find yourself going from a casual conversation to one about sexual things, when talking to a man? Sometimes it is with friends and more often than not, a causal acquaintance.

Take for example. I am on a four year clients' lawn for the first time this year and he comes out to say hello. We are talking about the weather, the grass, the trees, the landscaping, etc. I ask him how his wife is doing, who had triple bypass last fall. He says pretty good, dealing with depression which is common after this surgery and struggling with her weight. He then tells me she outweighs him. I would KILL Curt for EVER revealing this fact - not that I do.

Anyway, he asks how my health is. I say pretty good, why? He replied that he noticed that I had put on some weight and just wondered. Okay, so I confessed that yes what he noticed was accurate, but I am trying to go the other way in the world of scales. He laughed and said that he was in trouble with his wife for noticing that a waitress at a restaurant they frequent had lost weight. I then get the info that his wife hasn't lost much weight except in her "Double D Department". What do you say to that???? He then asked if I remembered the man who was in their home doing interior work when I first started to take care of his lawn. Yes, I did. Well, it seems that they would stand at the window and comment on how I looked. "Back then we sure did like to watch you work". Another client came out to inform me that he bet all the guys hired me so they could watch my butt as I worked. He is no longer a client.

This conversation topic isn't just limited at my work. I don't bring it up, I don't encourage it to continue. It got me thinking that this has happened almost my whole life. So, I am wondering does this occur with you?

Isn't it nice to know though, that I do my best at my work and it goes unnoticed.